16.2.05

Importing My Inability

Today, I learned that you can import a .PDF into Illustrator, save it as a .EPS, open it in Photoshop, save it as a .tiff (300 DPI or more), and drop it into Quark as a background and lose none of the quality of the image, allowing you to drop new imagery over it replacing anything that is corrupt, outdated, etc. without the need of upgrading InDesign.

I also learned that in the midst of exhaustion I can begin to question the meaning of what I’m doing. Such questioning shakes me, like an earthquake shakes a building. But such shaking is no bad, for it proves where we are weak, in need of reinforcement. Such questioning need not threaten, unless we see it as a statement of inability. We each must be driven to deep introspection to find what treasures lie in the unexplored regions of our hearts; but the miner who never returns to bring his treasure up will die: from the weight that such introspection brings, and unbroken seriousness. I have delved deep, and now I long for the light. A hint of depression settles over me. The past stands in the room, like an old friend (an old enemy), never speaking but always ready to remind of what has come. Calling, like the Sirens, that I might heed the invite and wreck myself upon the rocks of regret, remorse, recollection, and remembrance. Where do past-minded people look when the sun settles behind clouds and the shadows threaten to swallow us? Lord, you know.

15.2.05

The Exportation of Authority

Today I learned that you can export a Quark file as a .PDF and include all bleeds and printer markings. Also, trim to bleed means that one-eighth of an inch will be lost in any cut. And here, I thought that only happened in the woodshop. There is a lot of similarity between the workshop and the print shop.

I also learned that the right decision is not always the easy one. I am still feeling out the issues with G1 and G2. I survey a road long tread before, looking back for a history that will be the key to understanding the present. What role does affirmation play, what role authority? That which is granted cannot be earned, given up, nor relinquished without great sacrifice. Those to whom authority has been given, let them wield it with benevolence, gentleness, and service; but let me not relinquish it in the silence of inactivity evoked by fear. To do what is right: that is hard. To do what is right in a way that is good: that is the challenge of human ability.

14.2.05

When People & Process Break Down

Today, I learned that files don't all work the way they are supposed to, regardless of what you do. Andrew created a file for me in InDesign but when it exported, the .tiff would not print. I spent eight hours on something that should have taken me two.

I also learned that hard decisions have hard unforeseen consequences. G1 spoke a dozen words to me today, all telling me what I needed to do differently with regard to some given projects. In the face of challenge, I shy away from the place of responsibility. I tell others I am a farmer and a writer. Am I, or do I pursue those professions the way that Moses pursued shepherding: hiding out the wrath of a foreign king, content to give myself to obscurity out of fear? I stand upon the precipice and survey the unknown future. Success is not in question. The current of purpose runs much deeper. Lord, grant wisdom.

2.2.05

Impressions of Inadequacy

Today I learned that once a software program has been found lacking, little can sway users to stay with it, or come back once they leave. Quark is quickly displaced as a platform for design layout by InDesign. Why? Quark...well, has quirks.

I also learned that some people, once they’ve made up their minds about it, simply won’t be impressed by someone else. I fight the uphill battle to show what is true already: that some quality or other has moved my boss to offer me this job, empowering me to lead in an environment where leadership is undesired, often despised, and sometimes dismissed. While respect is not something given but earned, so respect is also given when it comes with authority and the assumption that benevolence and kindred desires will ultimately prove the wielder worthy of such respect. Some days, I believe that and simply think, “If I can just show G1 what jobs I’ve been able to do, how I’ve learned Quark, Photoshop, and brought back all my old AP style of writing (from college Journalism classes), then I’ll have proven myself worth of some portion of respect. But I’m a undesired platform, deemed unworthy. So I preserver, faithfully labor at the tasks before me, and trust that in time G1 will find within herself the desire to follow, if not for the sake of a man (or any man) but ultimately for the sake of God.